November New Moon

Tonight’s New Moon is in Scorpio and I can already feel a sense of renewal. I spent the night before reflecting on some aspects of my life that I desire to change and found myself looking at the situations quite matter-of-factly. I starting thinking with a proactive attitude on how I could initiate change. The Universe is always going to give back what it receives, and I can see quite clearly now that the ‘rut’ I felt I was in, was quite simply the giving and returning of the very same, negative energy. How could I expect any of my goals to come into fruition if I wasn’t showing the Universe that I was willing to put in the work? I guess you could say the New Moon ignited this passion within me, that I thought had burnt out. I feel particularly motivated with the knowledge that this particular New Moon is in Scorpio, and the all or nothing attitude that comes along with the sign made me ask that very question… All or nothing? Do I want to put in the work or do nothing? Do I want to achieve all my goals or none of them? Am I going to give it my all or give nothing? This might not the best way to handle every situation but at this point in my life, those were the questions I needed to be asking. And the answer was simple; all. So this morning I woke up feeling utterly inspired. I decided to be as productive as possible today, deep cleaning my space, developing a posting schedule for both my blog and YouTube (which will have content back on it on Monday), writing this very blog post… and let me tell you I can already feel myself reaping the benefits already. Tonight I will be experiencing my first New Moon ritual and I feel immense amounts of hope, gratitude and love as I explore more goals and dreams of mine. I feel strong and able to truly go after what I want in life and I can see the light at the end of what has felt like a very dark, desolate tunnel.

Please know that if you are going through a tough time, you do have the power to make a change and you are a beautiful being on this earth. If you have the chance, take the time tonight to think about what you dream of and take a step (even if it’s a baby step) towards your goal. Who knows what beauty may lay ahead… xx

Love & Light

-Mena ❤

Life Update

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Wait a minute… I don’t use an alarm clock and even if I did, chances are I’d sleep through it.

Yawn. Stretch.

Another sleepless night… shit.

Sip. Sip. Sip.

Close my eyes and pretend this coffee is water. Ask myself why I keep doing this to myself.

Anxiety spikes. 

Resume life.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Food is done. Turn off the microwave. Pretty sure some stuff happened between this and my coffee. It’s a blur.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

That phone screen is bright. Debate getting off social media. Remembers I sometimes like it… stays on and resumes incessant blinking.

AHHHHH!

Is that a spider? Nope, it’s a hairball. Remy, are you shedding? Wait – is that my hair? Hm… let’s call it Remy’s hair anyways.

Beep.

Camera recording. Talking on camera still weirds me out. I never know what to sa- wait… that IS a spider!

AHHHHHH!

Rolled up in a ball, while I debate on potential names FOR my unwanted third roommate…. because the vegan voice in my head refuses to harm him. I dub thee… Sir Spidercus…

The Office theme song plays…

Reached Season 7 Episode 8 in an obscenely short amount of time. Thank you Netflix.

Hahahaha.

You thought I was laughing at The Office? No, I’m laughing at the idea of me actually getting sleep tonight.

Hahahaha. 

Now I’m laughing at the Office.

fin.

 

 

 

 

 

Common Senses

Speak to me

Not select parts

That deem me ‘weak’

Hear me

When I speak

And when I say,

“I am okay”

It’s not a facade

To find peace

In the face of adversity

See me

Not my confines

But the living soul within

In a world where

There is no definitive definition

Open your eyes to possibility

Feel me

My heart beats

Just the same as yours

Taste

Your words

Before you speak

The unequivocal “cure”

Lay in the scope of society

And as the wheels go round

Life goes on

Ventilation

Measure lengths

Of time and space

Bridge the gaps

Time elapse

The burden of knowing

I can hear Greed crowing

The connotation of ‘need’

The merciless feed

Insatiable means

Sacrificed identity

Buried next to originality

While Greed preys on the remaining parts of me
Breathe…
Bright screen

Dull reality

The Dreamer

When will you make your dreams a reality?

Perhaps when the stars align?

Or maybe when pigs begin to fly?

The tick tap of your sole

The irrelevance of time…

How will you make your dreams a reality?

Through the twiddle of your thumbs?

The unprecedented magic wand,

That leaves all fair and benign?

A cryptic fantasy

Where the restless dreamers never die

 

And in the stillness of the night,

Answer me this – without quiver;

What is the dreamer’s reality?

Utter Silence

Uttered words

Under her breath

Rise up in a cloud

Oh, look how they dance!

The letters jumbled

Her voice – mumbled

Figmented confidence; a distant echo in her head…
Disdainful eyes dart

The ‘clunk’ of her sunken heart

As it hits the bottom of her rib cage

Followed by a rush of regret

Trailing up her spine

Her jaw clenched.

Utter silence suits her best…

Symptoms

Lately little thought bubbles have been popping in my head.

Pop. Pop! POP!

They’ve been giving me one hell of a headache.

Other symptoms include…

Feeling slightly whoozy,

A tad bit delirious,

And a beating heart that’s dead.

Cure: Not yet found.

 

Top of the Morning!

Wake up.

LOUD INCESSANT SOUND

Hesitantly…

Get up from this cloud

Find the control…

SHUT IT DOWN

 

Resembling that of a zombie,

As I move around.

50% BATTERY.

Could it get any worse?

Angry muttering

Circumstances adverse

Tummy rumbles

Getting hungry…

 

MUST. EAT. BRAINS.

 

 

 

 

Feeling Overwhelmed (Open Journal)

You know that time when life seems too much, and you have to remind yourself of the simplest of actions?

Inhale… Exhale…

And all of your responsibilities stack up, at the exact moment all odds seem to be against you…

Inhale… Exhale…

Tell me, why do I put this pressure on myself? When all I need to do is…

Inhale… Exhale…

Same old day. Same old time. Same old place. Same old…

Inhale… Exhale…

I’ve seen it all before, but for some strange reason it takes all my being to just…

Inhale… Exhale…

The standards up so high, if only I were a hot air balloon…

Inhale… Exhale…

But if I were a hot air balloon, chances are I’d fly far away from here…

Inhale… Exhale…

Forget about time and watch the world from above…

Inhale… Exhale…

What’s this? Clouds? My vision is hazy… I’ve forgotten how to…

Inhale… Exhale…

I just need to…

Inhale… Exhale…

Inhale…Exhale…

It can’t be sunshine all the time.