Life Update

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Wait a minute… I don’t use an alarm clock and even if I did, chances are I’d sleep through it.

Yawn. Stretch.

Another sleepless night… shit.

Sip. Sip. Sip.

Close my eyes and pretend this coffee is water. Ask myself why I keep doing this to myself.

Anxiety spikes. 

Resume life.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Food is done. Turn off the microwave. Pretty sure some stuff happened between this and my coffee. It’s a blur.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

That phone screen is bright. Debate getting off social media. Remembers I sometimes like it… stays on and resumes incessant blinking.

AHHHHH!

Is that a spider? Nope, it’s a hairball. Remy, are you shedding? Wait – is that my hair? Hm… let’s call it Remy’s hair anyways.

Beep.

Camera recording. Talking on camera still weirds me out. I never know what to sa- wait… that IS a spider!

AHHHHHH!

Rolled up in a ball, while I debate on potential names FOR my unwanted third roommate…. because the vegan voice in my head refuses to harm him. I dub thee… Sir Spidercus…

The Office theme song plays…

Reached Season 7 Episode 8 in an obscenely short amount of time. Thank you Netflix.

Hahahaha.

You thought I was laughing at The Office? No, I’m laughing at the idea of me actually getting sleep tonight.

Hahahaha. 

Now I’m laughing at the Office.

fin.

 

 

 

 

 

Steps

One step forward

                Two

         Steps

Back

Welcoming distraction

In the silence we go flat

Tell me, what is it that keeps you up at night?

And in the middle of the darkness

Could we still produce some light?

And did you hear their words?

Curt sound, no emotion

Me, myself and I

We’re just going through the motions

Sea In Blue | A Film-Poem

 

Waves crashing along the shore

As we tread through a water full of memories

Collecting treasures as we go

Little did I know-

The true treasure was YOU

 

Thanks to you, I sea in blue

 

And when my eyes are closed and the sky turns grey

Salty sea raindrops hit my face

You tell me to open my eyes –

“It will be okay”

And it was true

 

Thanks to you, I sea in blue

 

I hope you know how special you are

And how many hearts your presence touches

But more than anything, I hope this remains true-

When you look at the world…

 

Sea in blue

 

The Making of ‘Sea In Blue’

I wrote this poem for my mother and typed it on my great uncle’s typewriter, which was handed down to me, due to my love of writing and all things vintage. When I gave the poem to my mom for Mother’s Day, I can’t express how happy it made her… And as her birthday rolls around shortly after, I decided I wanted to bring the poem to life for her.

My mom hasn’t been to the beach in years. This is because she works endlessly on taking care of our rather large family. It would take too long to give you a family history, so all I will say is that I live with five siblings and four of them require a great deal of medical care. In addition, I also need a bit of assistance due to my own physical challenges with Muscular Dystrophy. I have three more siblings, but they have all moved out. When I was in high school, my dad was diagnosed with dementia and now my mother takes care of him too. In short, my mother is Wonder Woman.

I wanted this film to be an escape. A sweet serenity so that in those brief two minutes she could feel like she was there. So many beautiful memories are tied to the beach in our family. When life was a little less chaotic, we would take trips and soak up that summer sun, feel that ocean breeze and build a mean sandcastle! Even when we weren’t at the beach, my mom would reference it’s calming effects. I used to have a really hard time taking medicine when I was younger, but I was also a kid that would easily get sick… My mom would tell me to picture the ocean waves, and medicine became a bit less intimidating when I learned to “ride the wave”.

On Thursday, my best friend and I went out to make this filming idea a reality. According to the forecast, this was supposed to be the best day of the week (we have been having a rather rainy and cool June so far). After a stressful, traffic-filled ride there, things finally seemed to be falling into place. We got a parking spot right off the bat, the sun was out… I couldn’t ask for more. The beach was relatively quiet, not overly crowded which was my hope. I started filming some of the wider shots and after I was done, we decided to head towards the shore.

As I mentioned earlier, I have Muscular Dystrophy, so I need assistance walking on uneven surfaces (for instance, walking on sand). My friend and I linked arms, Wizard of Oz style, and walked down the beach. Now I kid you not when I say the second we reached the shore, downpour rain came out of seemingly nowhere. Fortunately the cameras were protected, however us? … Not so much. We moved as fast as we could to get back to my friend’s car, dropping the shells we had collected on the way down. We finally got in the car, drenched and in disbelief. I pulled out my camera and filmed the drastic change in weather. We decided to stay in the car and drive along the beach for a little. Then something wonderful happened… The rain stopped and the sun came back!

My friend pulled over once more, and being the amazing person she is; she offered to run back down to the shore to collect shells for an important shot in the film. You know you have a true friend when they not only get stuck in a full on downpour with you, but are willing to go back out and pick shells for you despite the chance of another sporadic shower. While she did so, I took more wide shots of the beach and as I looked up at the sky, I saw the most beautiful rainbow.

A week or two ago, I told my Mom that I felt rainbows were following me. I kept seeing them indoors and outdoors every now and then… But this rainbow, filled me up with so much warmth, gratitude, and fulfillment that it made all of the crazy parts of the trip worthwhile. On the drive home, my friend expressed how crazy this whole experience was and I agreed and said “But it’s also a story we will talk about years from now.”

 

Quote of the Day: “Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud” -Maya Angelou

 

Question of the Day: Where do you feel most serene? 

 

 

 

 

Still Motion | A Film-Poem

A world in still

My eyes are open

wider…     and…    WIDER…

Then it all goes black.

Awakened by a dream

Of hope and light

The world around me begins to take flight

faster…    and…    FASTER!

Then it all goes black.

My eyes – they open

My mind is quiet

My world…

In still –

Instill –

Instilled…

I close my eyes.

Then open.

A world in motion

My world instilled

In the BLINK of an eye.

The Making of ‘Still Motion’

This poem means a lot to me, for more reasons than one. First and foremost, this is the first poem about myself and my inner feelings about the world that I have ever shared publicly. I wrote this poem for filming purposes and with that, I put a lot of thought into the words and the tone I wanted this poem to portray. I wanted this poem to be vague enough that any reader (or listener) could relate, but ensure that I was also sharing a part of me in the process. I don’t want to break this poem down and reveal my exact thoughts when writing it, because I fear that it would take away from your experience and your relationship with this poem. All I will say is that in terms of inspiration, I channeled some of my deepest struggles and translated them to paper.

-Mena xx

Quote of the day:

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” -George Bernard Shaw

Question of the day:

What is your favorite treasure(s) and why?